Simona, Slams and Self-actualization

Simona Halep seems to have been poised to win a Major title for many years, but those titles have eluded her. She suffered a heartbreaking loss at the 2017 French Open when she was up a set and a break over Jelena Ostapenko, a relative newcomer who no one was expecting to win. There had been talk of Halep “choking” and not being emotionally ready for such a big win.

So when Simona sat down to talk to the press after losing the 2018 Australian Open final, I was expecting a tense scene. So much had been on the line and, in losing her match, she lost her #1 ranking and yet another opportunity to win her first Major title (a.k.a. “Slam.”) Understandably, many players don’t want to talk about their big losses right after they happen, much less speculate as to why they lost. In these types of press conferences, players can be cranky and emotionally guarded. But Simona was different. She was upbeat and smiling. Despite all the baggage that came with this loss, she seemed genuinely OK: honest about her disappointment (“Oh yeah, I cried…”) but proud of the fact that she played her very best despite some really tough physical challenges.

I was really impressed and inspired by Halep’s perspective on things, especially given her history of painful losses and negative emotional displays on court. It got me thinking how so many people (myself included) fall into the trap of resting all their hopes and dreams on one very specific goal, often setting themselves up for huge disappointment when they don’t achieve that goal exactly when or how they think they should.

Despite the fact that professional tennis is a week-in, week-out existence of tournament after tournament (most of the pros play around 25 a year), the focus always seems to drift to the Majors. While we look at many different stats as a measure of a player’s greatness (career titles, weeks spent at #1, etc), we see Major titles as the true mark of being a legend. In fact, there have been many players who’ve reached #1 without winning a Major, a career asterisk that few players relish, especially when it’s turned into a joke at their expense.

Is it fair to judge players so heavily on their Major victories? Maybe partly. Winning a Major is definitely one of the hardest things a player can pull off: winning seven rounds (with no byes) in a row against the very best players in the world. But some Major titles come about just as much through good fortune as they do through talent: a walkover in a critical match; a mid-match rain delay that allows a losing player to regroup and grab a win, or tough potential opponents being knocked out in earlier rounds (in his run to winning the 2017 US Open, Rafael Nadal didn’t have to play a single opponent ranked higher than #28).

But even once a player has won a Major title, the demands placed on him/her can be quite unfair. Even after a player does win one of these rarified titles, there’s the “one-slam-wonder” moniker that follows them around until they’re able to follow up their amazing feat (or permanently, if they retire before winning a second one.) Unfairly, that term implies that their one Major was somehow a fluke, rather than a really difficult and special achievement that very few people ever accomplish. Unlike the “one-hit-wonder” label of the music world, I think single-slam champions like Andy Roddick and Gabriela Sabatini deserve a bit more credit and respect than, say, the 1980s New Wave band Kajagoogoo.

Given all this pressure to win Majors, it’s easy to understand how a series of crushing losses can make a player feel like the universe is acting against her; like she’s doomed to never reach that highest pinnacle of the sport. But the Halep I saw last week was someone who could acknowledge the sadness and disappointment she felt, but still feel good that she had played her very best under grueling circumstances. There was no “choking,” no “letting the match slip away.” Her opponent, Caroline Wozniacki, had simply played a little bit better that day.

Even late last year, Halep had already been showing signs of being more at peace with the uncertainty of how things would play out in her career. At the 2017 US Open, she drew the unseeded Maria Sharapova (a “dangerous floater” if ever there was one) for her first-round match. Responding to questions about whether the matchup felt unfair, especially when an early loss would once again defer the opportunity to reach the #1 ranking, Simona replied simply: “If I deserve it, I will win it.” Halep went on to lose that high-profile match in 3 sets but, despite the loss (her 7th in a row to Sharapova), she would go on later that year to beat Sharapova for the first time and grab the #1 ranking -- a perfect example of how progress (and life in general) rarely follows a straight path.

In life, we often fixate on very specific, lofty goals and then beat ourselves up when we don’t achieve those goals. Whether it’s winning a tournament, reaching a certain level in our career, or finding that special someone, we all know the pain of getting our hopes up, of telling ourselves that it's finally going to happen, only to have things not go our way. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with striving for excellence, but we can’t let falling short of perfection negate all of our other accomplishments. With her unique mix of confidence, humility and acceptance, Simona Halep shows us the importance of appreciating everything we’ve achieved (and failed at) along the way, and understanding that whatever is meant to be, will be.